The Marriage Covenant
Did you know that even Christians who supposedly study the Scriptures divorce almost as often as non-Christians? The Holy Scriptures are full of Yahweh’s teaching on marriage and it is clear Yahweh hates divorce. Marriage is a covenant relationship between husband and wife. It mirrors the covenant relationship between Messiah and His saints. Marriage is also described as the husband and wife coming together as “one” just like saints are “one” with the Father, Son, and other believers. The act of marriage is also a vow that each spouse makes. Vows are very important to Yahweh and should not be taken lightly.
Let us begin our review of marriage with the question, “What does Yahweh expect in a marriage?” According to Yahweh’s Word, wives must submit to their husbands. Husbands are the head of the marriage and in charge. Wives may believe they have the toughest assignment in marriage. But as we will read, husbands also have a tough assignment in marriage.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto Yahweh. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Messiah is the head of the assembly: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the assembly is subject unto Messiah, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Sovereign.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man (#435 – better translation is husband) is Messiah; and the head of the woman (#1135 – better translation is wife) is the man (#435 – better translation is husband); and the head of Messiah is Yahweh.
435 aner {an’-ayr} • a primary word cf 444; TDNT – 1:360,59; n m • AV – man 156, husband 50, sir 6, fellow 1, not tr 2; 215 • 1) with reference to sex 1a) of a male 1b) of a husband 1c) of a betrothed or future husband 2) with reference to age, and to distinguish an adult man from a boy 3) any male 4) used generically of a group of both men and women
1135 gune {goo-nay’} • probably from the base of 1096; TDNT – 1:776,134; n f • AV – women 129, wife 92; 221 • 1) a woman of any age, whether a virgin, or married, or a widow 2) a wife 2a) of a betrothed woman
Not only is the husband in charge, wives are commanded to have a meek and quiet spirit. They are warned that their inward beauty must far surpass their external beauty. Wives must be discreet and modest, loving their husbands unconditionally. Again, wives may believe this is too difficult of an assignment, goes counter to society, and screams of unfair sex discrimination. But wives need to understand that Yahweh’s ways and thoughts are higher than our ways and thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).
1 Peter 3:2 While they behold your chaste (#53) conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of Yahweh of great price.
53 hagnos {hag-nos’} • from the same as 40; TDNT – 1:122,19; adj • AV – pure 4, chaste 3, clear 1; 8 • 1) exciting reverence, venerable, sacred 2) pure 2a) pure from carnality, chaste, modest 2b) pure from every fault, immaculate 2c) clean
Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste (#53-hagnos), keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of Yahweh be not blasphemed.
1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman (#1135 – better translation is wife) learn in silence (#2271 – better translation is quietness) with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman (#1135 – better translation is wife) to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man (#435 – better translation is husband), but to be in silence (#2271 – better translation is quietness).
2271 hesuchia {hay-soo-khee’-ah} • from 2272;; n f • AV – silent 3, quietness 1; 4 • 1) quietness 1a) description of the life of one who stays at home doing his own work, and does not officiously meddle with the affairs of others 2) silence
Although the husband is the head of the wife, let us be crystal clear: YahwehShua has ultimate authority over believers, including wives. Therefore wives are not to blindly follow their husbands if they go against YahwehShua and His righteousness.
Although wives may believe they have the tougher assignment, the reality may be that men have the toughest assignment in the marriage covenant. Husbands are to love their wives even as Messiah loves the assembly. And what did Messiah do for the Assembly? He laid down His life, being crucified on the stake. Messiah took on the sins of the world so we could be reconciled to the Father. He bore all of mankind’s punishment for sin.
Also, Messiah emptied himself of His glory as Yahweh, made himself of no reputation by becoming a man, and came to earth to be a servant (Philippians 2:7). Think about it, Messiah came to earth to be a servant, not to be served (Matthew 20:28). Therefore, husbands may have to give up all for their wives and cannot be selfish in their relationship. And as the following Scriptures state husbands need to treat their wives as they would treat their own bodies. That is, husbands need to treat their wives as they would want to be treated. Lastly, they are responsible for providing for their spouse and their family. And if they don’t provide for their family the Apostle Paul tells us they have denied the faith.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Messiah also loved the assembly, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious assembly, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Sovereign the assembly:
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Husbands who take Yahweh’s Words of headship and submission and turn them into a tyrannical dictatorship, reducing their wives from joint heirs together in Messiah to slaves, are not doing Yahweh’s will! And husbands need to remember that their wife’s submission and meek and quiet spirit are voluntary, just like a believers’ submission to Messiah is voluntary. Just because one spouse is not obeying Yahweh does not give the other spouse license to disobey Yahweh.
Although Yahweh through His Word has given husbands and wives instructions in their behavior toward one another, marriage is ultimately about love. Just like Yahweh’s relationship with His saints is about love. And what better prescription for spousal love than 1 Corinthians 13. We must put aside our anger, forgive our spouse a million times over, always be faithful, subdue our pride and ego, and always let true agape love guide our actions.
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. (NKJ)
Yahweh’s Word is clear on the roles of husbands and wives in the marriage relationship. But what if there are problems in a marriage and talk of divorce? What does Yahweh’s Word say about divorce? The Scriptures are very clear. Yahweh hates divorce. There is very little in Scriptures that indicate that divorce is acceptable in His eyes.
Mark 10:2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5 And Yah’shua answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation Yahweh made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore Yahweh hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Also see Matthew 19:1-6 and Luke 16:18)
Malachi 2:14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because Yahweh has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. 15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks holy offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. 16 “For Yahweh Elohim of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says Yahweh of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.” (NKJ)
Did you know that the husband/wife relationship is how Yahweh chose to represent his personal relationship with Israel under the Old Covenant and with saints under the New Covenant? The marriage covenant between husband and wife parallels the covenant between Yahweh and His people.
In the old covenant we see Yahweh was married to Israel. To leave that marriage covenant with Yahweh was not just idolatry, it was adultery.
Jeremiah 3:8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. 9 And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.
14 Turn, O backsliding children, saith Yahweh; for I am married unto you:
Ezekiel 16:8 Now when I (Yahweh) passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Sovereign Yahweh, and thou becamest mine.
Hosea 2:19 And I (Yahweh) will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. 20 I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know Yahweh.
Jeremiah 31:31 Behold, the days come, saith Yahweh, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: 32 Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith Yahweh:
Isaiah 54:5 For thy Maker is thine husband; Yahweh of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The Elohim of the whole earth shall he be called.
And under the new covenant, Yahweh Messiah is the bridegroom…..
Mark 2:18 And the disciples of John and of the Pharisees used to fast: and they come and say unto him, Why do the disciples of John and of the Pharisees fast, but thy disciples fast not? 19 And Yah’shua said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber fast, while the bridegroom is with them? as long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast. 20 But the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then shall they fast in those days.
John 3:28 Ye yourselves bear me (i.e. John the Baptist) witness, that I said, I am not the Messiah, but that I am sent before him. 29 He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.
And the saints are His bride…..
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Messiah is the head of the assembly: and he is the saviour of the body.
1 Corinthians 11:2 For I am jealous over you with righteous jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Messiah.
And let us be glad and rejoice in the coming Marriage Supper of the Lamb/Bridegroom and his saints/bride!
Revelation 19:5 And a voice came out of the throne, saying, Praise our Elohim, all ye his servants, and ye that fear him, both small and great. 6 And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia: for the Sovereign Yahweh omnipotent reigneth. 7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. 8 And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. 9 And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of Yahweh.
Isaiah 61:10 I will greatly rejoice in YAHWEH, my soul shall be joyful in my Elohim; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.
Not only is the marriage covenant equivalent to saints’ covenant relationship with Messiah, Scriptures describe husbands and wives coming together as “one”, just like saints are “one” with the Father, Son, and each other. When two flesh become one flesh, this entity becomes unique and is not just the wife and the husband. Destroying the oneness with our spouse by divorce could destroy our oneness with the Father, Son, and other believers.
Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Messiah and the assembly.
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Matthew 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore Yahweh hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
1 Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Sovereign is one spirit.
John 17:21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. 22 And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: 23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
Marriage is also a vow made between husband and wife. A marriage vow is not only between spouses, it is a vow to Yahweh. And we know that vows are very important to Yahweh and must be kept!
Ecclesiastes 5:4 When thou vowest a vow unto Elohim, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. 5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.
Psalm 116:18 I will pay my vows unto Yahweh now in the presence of all his people
If you decide to make a marriage vow, then you need to be prepared not to break that vow. Why? Hebrews 10:31 states “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living Elohim”. Since half of all marriages end in divorce, many do not understand the binding nature of the vow they have made.
Deuteronomy 23:21 When thou shalt vow a vow unto Yahweh thy Elohim, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for Yahweh thy Elohim will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee.
Numbers 30:22 If a man vow a vow unto Yahweh, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.
Psalm 50:14 Offer unto Elohim thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High: (Also Psalm 76:11)
We see a vow made to Elohim by Ananias and Sapphira that was not kept in the book of Acts. It is an understatement to say that Yahweh was not pleased.
Acts 5:1 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession, 2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles’ feet. 3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Spirit, and to keep back part of the price of the land? 4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto Yahweh. 5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the spirit: and great fear came on all them that heard these things. 6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him. 7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in. 8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much. 9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of Yahweh? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out. 10 Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the spirit: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband. 11 And great fear came upon all the assembly, and upon as many as heard these things.
What are the causes of divorce? Messiah tells us divorce comes from the hardness of our heart, which equals a lack of love and lack of faith in YahwehShua.
Matthew 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so (Also see Mark 10:5)
Mark 16:14 Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen.
So what happens when a believer’s heart is hardened?
Romans 2:5 But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of Yahweh; 6 Who will render to every man according to his deeds
This hardness of heart happens when a believer continuously walks in the flesh and not in the Spirit. Remember the flesh is enmity against the Spirit and cannot follow Yahweh’s Law. The self-centered “rights” movement stands in harsh contrast to the following Spirit-breathed words. Claiming we have “rights” to be treated a certain way is actually an excuse to walk in the flesh, rather than in the Spirit. When believers’ attitudes become worldly, they have prioritized selfishness over service to Yahweh!
Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; Elohim is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
Romans 8:5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against Yahweh: for it is not subject to the law of Yahweh, neither indeed can be. 8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please Yahweh.
Galatians 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
It is interesting to note that the courts of this world, which lie under the sway of the wicked one (1 John 5:19), see no problem with destroying the one-flesh covenant relationship between husband and wife. In fact they make it easy and encourage it. Remember Satan wanders around as a roaring lion looking to devour those that are weak in the Spirit (1 Peter 5:8).
1 Corinthians 6:1 Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? 2 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? 3 Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? 4 If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the assembly. 5 I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? 6 But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers.
So are there any instances when a spouse can divorce? Based on the following Scriptures, a husband may divorce his wife for fornication.
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Matthew 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Let us be clear an accusation of fornication is not proof! Scripture requires two or three witnesses (2 Corinthians 13:1, Matthew 18:16, Deuteronomy 17:6 and 19:15) to the fornication. A Bible example is that of Potiphar’s wife accusing Joseph in Genesis 39 of an untrue sexual encounter. Man’s Law which allows divorce for any reason does not meet Yahweh’s standard.
On the other hand, just because someone was not caught in fornication does not mean they are not guilty. We must also remember that the two witnesses may be Messiah and the Father, who are all-knowing. So even if there are not two witnesses in the flesh, there are two witnesses in Spirit and They cannot be deceived!
So if a wife commits fornication is it “acceptable” to Yahweh to divorce? Before we move on, let us dig a little deeper in the Word. The reality is that an initial infidelity may not be sufficient to divorce your wife. Remember we are trying to emulate Yahweh (i.e. Father and the Son) and Yahweh has already said He hates divorce and is very forgiving. As well two Bible passages state that it is only because of the “hardness of man’s heart” that Moses/Yahweh permits divorce at all (see Mark 10:5 and Matthew 19:8).
Malachi 2:15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks holy offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. 16 “For Yahweh Elohim of Israel says That He hates divorce (NKJ)
We have also shown that the marriage covenant mirrors the relationship between Messiah and His saints. And we know that even the best saints continue to sin and we know if we repent of our sin there is a promise of forgiveness from our heavenly Father.
With that in mind, we need to examine the following passage that shows Yahweh trying to be reconciled to Israel (i.e. His wife), even though they had committed fornication with other mighty ones. All Yahweh asked for is acknowledgement of their wrong doing and to return to Him.
Jeremiah 3:11 Then Yahweh said to me, “Backsliding Israel has shown herself more righteous than treacherous Judah. 12 “Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say: ‘Return, backsliding Israel,’ says Yahweh; ‘I will not cause My anger to fall on you. For I am merciful,’ says Yahweh; ‘I will not remain angry forever. 13 Only acknowledge your iniquity, That you have transgressed against Yahweh your Elohim, And have scattered your charms To alien deities under every green tree, And you have not obeyed My voice,’ says Yahweh. 14 “Return, O backsliding children,” says Yahweh; “for I am married to you.
Yahweh’s character includes forgiveness and mercy. And we know that Yahweh forgave us while we were yet sinners and rebellious against Him. If we are trying to become like Yahweh, shouldn’t we forgive a repentant wife who has committed fornication?
Colossians 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of Yahweh, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Messiah forgave you, so also do ye. 14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
Romans 5:8 But Yahweh commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Messiah died for us. 9 Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. 10 For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to Elohim by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.
Daniel 9:9 To the Sovereign our Elohim belong mercies and forgivenesses, though we have rebelled against him;
Messiah’s forgiveness and mercy towards the woman taken in adultery is an excellent example to married saints, “and Yah’shua said unto her, neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more”.
John 8:1 Yah’shua went unto the mount of Olives. 2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. 3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, 4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? 6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Yah’shua stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he hear d them not . 7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. 8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. 9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Yah’shua was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10 When Yah’shua had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? 11 She said, No man, Sovereign. And Yah’shua said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
It is clear, if we want Yahweh to forgive us of our sins, we must start by forgiving others. And that may include a repentant wife who has committed fornication.
Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts (i.e. trespasses), as we forgive our debtors (i.e. trespassers). 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. 14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: 38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
Let us ask a very simple question, “How does Yahweh define marriage?”. According to Yahweh’s Word, marriage is between one man and one woman. It is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve J.
Genesis 2:21 And Yahweh Elohim caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which Yahweh Elohim had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Matthew 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore Yahweh hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
What does Yahweh’s Word say about same-sex marriage? It is clear through Scriptures that Yahweh considers homosexuality to be an abomination. How can this topic be controversial? The Scriptures are abundantly clear in both the Old and New Testaments that homosexuality is a sin. Therefore Yahweh does not sanction same-sex marriage.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Romans 1:24 Wherefore Elohim also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of Yahweh into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause Yahweh gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
1 Timothy 1:9 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the unrighteous and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, 10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind (733), for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;
1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of Yahweh? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind (733),
733 arsenokoites {ar-sen-ok-oy’-tace} • from 730 and 2845;; n m • AV – abuser of (one’s) self with mankind 1, defile (one’s) self with mankind 1; 2 • 1) one who lies with a male as with a female, sodomite, homosexual
It is clear that Yahweh hates divorce. Husbands and wives should do all that Yahweh tells us to do in our roles in a marriage, even if the other spouse isn’t. For the best of marriages, there will be very difficult times. There is a reason that almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce. But that does not mean a believer cannot or should not try to make a marriage work. Remember we have the Holy Spirit of Messiah working in us and access to His throne!
Matthew 19:26 But Yah’shua beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with Yahweh all things are possible. (Also see Mark 10:27).
Mark 9:23 Yah’shua said unto him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” (NKJ)
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Messiah which strengtheneth me.
John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
What if a marriage is very difficult? Does Yahweh really expect a saint to suffer the indignities of a bad marriage?
1 Peter 2:18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. 19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward Yahweh endure grief, suffering wrongfully. 20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with Yahweh. 21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Messiah also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
1 Peter 3:14 But and if ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
It takes courage and faith to endure suffering, particularly in a world where you are told you don’t have to put up with a bad marriage. Therefore you must commit yourself to Yahweh over your own fleshly desires in faith. Remember Yahweh’s ways and thoughts are higher than our ways and thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). And we see one of the greats of the faith choosing affliction by following Yahweh instead of the pleasures of this world.
Hebrews 10:24 By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; 25 Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of Yahweh, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; 26 Esteeming the reproach of Messiah greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.
The New Testament teaches strongly that marriage should be a lifelong commitment. Issues such as lack of commitment, different values/beliefs, in-law problems, stress, incompatibility, sexual problems, growing apart, illness, incapacity, boredom, unhappiness, or any other reasons are not Scriptural grounds for divorce. Yahweh is clear, the marriage covenant is until death do us part!
Romans 7:1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
1 Corinthians 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Sovereign.
Although Yahweh’s Word is clear that believers need to stay married, there is nothing in Scriptures that says an abused (physically and/or mentally) spouse has to live with his or her abusing partner. What Scriptures do say is that he/she cannot remarry and must remain married to the abusing spouse, but are not forced to live together. The abused spouse should take whatever actions are necessary to escape from the situation and to protect self and children.
1 Corinthians 5:9 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: 10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. 11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. 12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? 13 But them that are without Elohim judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
1 Corinthians 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but Yahweh, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried
And as we continue to read in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, if a spouse, who is a non-believer, is pleased to dwell with his/her believing spouse, the believing spouse does not need to separate, except for cases of abuse. Yahweh’s reason is the believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving spouse. Additionally, the believing spouse may witness to and help convert the non-believing spouse. But if the unbelieving spouse departs, Apostle Paul states that the believing spouse is no longer “under bondage”. What does Paul mean by “under bondage”?
1 Corinthians 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Sovereign: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but Yahweh hath called us to peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
The Greek word translated “bondage” is “douloo” which means to be enslaved. If the unbeliever leaves the marriage, the believing spouse is therefore under no obligation (i.e. bondage) to remain living with him/her, however Yahweh does not allow divorce in this case. Therefore neither party can remarry. There is much confusion in the Christian world about this term “under bondage”. We believe our interpretation given here of “bondage” is in harmony with the rest of the Scriptures on marriage and divorce. Plus Apostle Paul could have been crystal clear by saying the believing spouse was not under bondage and could remarry. But he didn’t. Lastly, it is never good to make doctrine out of one difficult passage of Scripture.
In summary, Messiah’s two conditions for dissolving a marriage and remarrying are (1) death of a spouse (Romans 7:2 and 1 Corinthians 7:39) and (2) repeated and unrepentant sexual immorality by the wife (Matthew 5:32 and 19:9).
Another interesting question is “What does Scriptures say about a believer marrying a non- believer?” The answer is much! There is probably no greater impact on our lives, including our spiritual life, than our decision to marry.
Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Amos 3:1 Hear this word that Yahweh hath spoken against you, O children of Israel, against the whole family which I brought up from the land of Egypt, saying, 2 You only have I known of all the families of the earth: therefore I will punish you for all your iniquities. 3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Deuteronomy 22:10 Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.
Think about it, putting two together who do not agree on spiritual matters is like plowing with a cow and donkey. It does not work well.
It is clear that Yahweh does not want believers marrying non-believers. That would make the marriage unequally yoked.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Messiah with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of Elohim with idols? for ye are the temple of the living Elohim; as Yahweh hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their Elohim, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith Yahweh, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith Yahweh Almighty.
1 Corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Sovereign.
And what happens when you are unequally yoked? It is clear that at one time Solomon had wisdom like no others (1 Kings 4:29-30) until he was unequally yoked with wives not of the faith. Although Solomon had many wives, it only takes one faithless wife to turn one from Yahweh.
1 Kings 11:1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites; 2 Of the nations concerning which Yahweh said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their mighty ones: Solomon clave unto these in love. 3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. 4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other mighty ones: and his heart was not perfect with Yahweh his Elohim, as was the heart of David his father.
Deuteronomy 17:17 Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away:
Nehemiah 13:25 And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by Elohim, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves. 26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his Elohim, and Elohim made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin. 27 Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our Elohim in marrying strange wives?
When you are choosing associations including a marriage partner, remember where you may be led…..whether it is to Yahweh and His kingdom or to the Lake of Fire.
Marriage is very important to Yahweh and He tells us that He hates divorce. Marriage is a covenant relationship between husband and wife which mirrors the covenant relationship between Yahweh and His saints. And just like a husband and wife are “one” in a very special union, saints, including those who are married, are “one” with the Father and the Son. Think about it, marriage is so important to Yahweh it mirrors saints’ relationship with the Yahweh Mighty Ones.
The act of marriage is also a vow that each spouse makes. Vows are very important to Yahweh and should not be taken lightly.
Because the marriage covenant is important to Yahweh there are only a few clear conditions under which the marriage covenant can be broken and saints are permitted to remarry. They are (1) death of a spouse, and (2) repeated and unrepentant sexual immorality by the wife.
Since marriage is an important covenant relationship, saints must do everything possible to stay married and obey Yahweh’s Word. First to wives, Yahweh’s Word tells them they need to be under submission to their husbands and that their husbands are their heads. Wives need to have a meek and quiet spirit and focus on inward beauty more than external beauty.
Husbands need to treat their wives as Messiah treated his bride, the saints. And we know that Messiah gave up all for His saints by His crucifixion. We also know that Messiah came to earth as a servant, not to be served (Matthew 20:28)! Husbands cannot be selfish and must be prepared to give up all for their wives. They must treat their wives as they would want to be treated.
And lastly, both spouses must show agape love (1 Corinthians 13:4) towards one another and make a commitment to work through any issues in the marriage. Remember we can do all things through Messiah who strengthens us.
Proverbs 5:18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
HalleluYah (1-16a)
It is interesting to note, that after our resurrections, we will no longer be married to our spouses, but married to the Father and the Son!
Matthew 22:28 Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. 29 Yah’shua answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of Yahweh. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of Yahweh in heaven.